The ultimate dad joke compilation
The Lord of the Rings: Checkmate - Created by Patrick Connan
if you cant handle me at my worst then leave because i dont have a best im always awful
she likes carrying around random rags for no reason
iconic video of my childhood
I still regularly quote this.
I can’t reblog this without providing a link in case anyone doesn’t know what this is. Because everyone should know what this is, I feel.
still say “HOKAY” and “well have a nap ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES” it is 2013
I do too and it is now 2014
cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER
i wish the devil would have taught me all this and i wouldn’t have to pay for college
damn the devil gives out free education on psychology??? i need that way more than i need shitty middle school education. sign me up.
Where’s my fucking witchcraft?
Fucking religious people lying.
tried to follow my favorite blog but all that came up was the customize button?
mom i had a bad dream can i sleep in your bed for a bit
I may not have any special talents but I can recite every word Groot said in guardians of the galaxy
Sometimes I’m Ernie. Sometimes I’m Bert.
Secret Service: “Dammit, we need to stop playing hide and seek.”
Calvin Coolidge: “You lose.”
Also, apparently as President he often went to dinner parties he hated. Someone finally asked why he went. His reply: “Got to eat somewhere.” Source
girls don’t like boys, girls like halloween and mark ruffalo’s tumblr account
I like Halloween and Tumblr, too.